A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, “If I show you a wild trick, will you give me a free drink?”
The bartender shrugs, “Sure, why not?”
The guy reaches into his pocket and pulls out… a tiny rat. Then out of the other pocket, he pulls a teeny-tiny piano.
The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and starts playing the blues like a rodent Ray Charles.
Stunned, the bartender pours him a free drink.
After finishing it, the guy says, “Now, if I show you an even better trick, do I drink free all night?”
“Buddy, if you can top that, you’re drinking on me till closing,” the bartender replies.
The man pulls the rat and piano out again, and this time reaches into his coat and pulls out… a small bullfrog
The frog clears his throat and starts belting out soulful blues lyrics. The rat’s playing, the frog’s singing — the bar is dead silent in awe.
Suddenly, a man rushes up and says, “I’ll give you $10,000 for that frog!”
The guy says, “Nope, not for sale.”
“$25,000!”
“Nope.”
“$50,000! Cash!”
“Deal.”
The bartender’s jaw drops. “Are you CRAZY? That frog was a gold mine! Why’d you sell him?”
Fresh jokes added to the site.
During my checkup, I asked the doctor if everything is alright and he said "well I'm not so sure, Mercury is in Uranus right now" I said: "Well I don't believe in astrology". "Neither do I", he replied, "my thermometer just broke"
A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "I can't serve you, you've had too much already." The man sighs, leaves through the front door, walks around the corner, and enters through the side door. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender looks at him and says, "Look, buddy, I told you five minutes ago I can't serve you." The man leaves again, walks around the block, and comes in through the back door. He approaches the bar, looks the bartender dead in the eye, and asks for a drink. The bartender slams his hand on the counter and yells, "I told you, you're cut off! Get out!" The man looks at him in utter disbelief and says, "My god, man, just how many bars do you work at?!"
A bunch of cowboys hanging around in the saloon gambling and drinking When a man that looks like he took the most severe beating runs inside and says: —You boys better be running, Black Joe is coming! And falls to the ground. Cowboys think to themselves: — There are five of us and that Black Joe is alone. And they carry on with their business when two well known gunfighters stumble in, all covered in blood and struggling to stay conscious: — Run for your lives! Black Joe is close! And they both collapsed on the floor. Now all the cowboys were in distress, fearing that Black Joe, and around that time they heard heavy steps and they looked outside. It was a huge man, all dressed in black, with a black beard and two black pistols in each hand. He enters the established and says to the cowboys: — All of you, suck my cock! Get in line, quickly! The terrified cowboys felt like they have no choice, so they did as they were told. And when it was all over, that huge guy, as he was putting his pants back on, spoke to the cowboys: — You guys better get out of here, I saw Black Joe is heading this way!
Click to confirm your age and view this joke.
These are the fastest paths to the pages people already want.
Open the dad joke category for clean, classic punchlines.
Jump straight to short jokes that are fast to read and share.
Browse animal jokes with the strongest sharing potential.
Catch up on earlier daily jokes you may have missed.
See the newest jokes added to the site.
Open the most liked jokes readers are already enjoying.
Browse curated joke lists by theme, mood, or moment.
If this page made you smile, let us send you the next one.
Join the Daily Joke newsletter and get a clean, quick joke of the day by email.
Browse popular joke lists that users are reading lately.
A handpicked collection of clean family jokes, kid-friendly punchlines, dad jokes, animal jokes, and easy laughs everyone can enjoy together.
Enjoy funny animal jokes about dogs, cats, fish, cows, penguins, farm animals, pets, and wild punchlines that are easy to read and share.
Short, funny one-liner jokes built for texts, group chats, quick laughs, and moments when you need a joke that lands fast.